Poem by Rachel Lani
I performed at a poetry reading friday. A very emotional and vulnerable night for all that performed.
Feel free to listen.
I’ve been feeling triggered a little bit today after the rush of the weekend went by. I didn’t realize how much I was actually holding back until I got home tonight. Usually when I’m triggered, I just drown out things. I don’t actually deal with them. Instead of repeating that terrible train wreck of a journey, I prayed, listened to calming music, and drew.
I just need to remember who I am right now. I am not who I used to be. I am not a blithering wimp with no way out.
I’m out and I just have to continue telling myself that.
I remember this dark time in my life when I rejected the new 30 seconds to mars album.
Those days are long gone.
Jared, Tomo, Shannon…forgive me.
I didn’t understand.
I am an ignorant child.